Despite being well meaning and caring to a fault, I somehow, god knows how, seem to convey the opposite. Clearly, I am extremely poor in handling people and these are the loved ones, the ones closest to me, the ones I would even die for. I don’t know what gets into me that I shout at them, get irritated at the drop of a hat and just generally come off as a super pain in the ass. Later, I cry and weep and behind their backs, fight people off who would even think a slightly bad thought about them.
This contradiction is highly painful for everyone. I don’t know how to solve it.
my sunshine, my moonlight
my dawn and my dusk
shine on me, shine so bright
that i never see any other light
What I have always realized in the gut but today it has come as a fully formed thought in my head is that all great and successful careers are based on momentum. You get a good thing going and that leads to you getting excited and then that leads to further good things and you get more excited and so on … It is true.
This is why often taking a break is so harmful. Not because you are not earning or climbing the ladder in that period but because the momentum is broken and often takes time to build up again. Voluntary breaks are still great since you can then relax and prepare yourself for the next run. What confuses most people and slips them by is the loss of momentum which comes involuntarily. It often happens when you change a job without an agenda or change teams within the same job but operating on a different frequency level. It is advised to stay cautious of these unintended breaks. They are as costly as the real ones and not as refreshing.
Moral of the story is : To rise high and gain a good career, keep an eye on your momentum. Do not let it break unintentionally and if unavoidable make plans to renew it as soon as possible.
I am 29 and I am clueless about what I really want to do for a career. I know this much that I do want a career, a successful one. I also know that I good at doing certain things. I am a quick learner and a good communicator. My problems are also clear – they are those of under confidence and paralysis in conflicting environments/ situations. So, instead of spurring me on, competition actually paralyses me. So yeah, I fail to be nakedly competitive. I am ambitious but I keep waiting for ideal conditions. These are all shortcomings of people who are not able to achieve much in life. I get that. And I can see myself changing as well about it. But still, there are always ways to make uninspiring work bearable but a different magic happens when you are putting the same effort and energy towards things which are also close to your heart.
Which is the reason why I am looking, desperately looking, for the reason that I want to work. There are some simple answers that I think I know but the reality is that I don’t have a clue about what I really want. I love to read and write. I also love to change things. I love to solve problems. But these, are very generic answers and do not lead me anywhere in the actual world. I would love to be an entrepreneur but I am still waiting for THE idea. I have a couple of them but I am not ready to stake everything for any of them.
So, the best strategy seems to be to wait and see what happens.
I am not easily impressed by the self described profiles anymore. They are more a reflection of the way in which one wants to be seen than what they actually are. Words kill me all the time but I am beginning to be cautious of how much I get affected by them.
I watched this Terry Pratchett documentary today (Choosing to Die):
It set me thinking about aging and getting old and god forbid, afflicted with a disease. It is a glum thought.
Switzerland and Belgium have legalized euthanasia. The documentary shows a couple live which has decided to go for assisted dying. It is terrible to see. It is tragic. Yet, at the same time, I can imagine the dread of a life in which you are nothing like yourself, where you are dependent on everyone but yourself. It is a very confusing topic – legally and emotionally.
I cannot imagine, how must the doctor reconcile with himself/herself in having assisted a person to die.
I wonder, if it comes to that, what would my choice be?
We rode the wave of 1991 reforms and that wave is now breaking. We have begun the slide into abyss of hard times. All because we have been led by fools who can only spout rhetoric and do nothing but rigidly follow the delusions of their own minds.
History will not forgive Manmohan Singh. His is a sin of omission. He stood there and watched even when he knew it was not right. He played the role of a pawn perfectly but somewhere he forgot that being in the place that he is, he is committing a crime to not just few people but to an entire nation and its generations to come. I think he has been vastly irresponsible. He should have done better simply because he knew better.
As for Sonia Gandhi, the lesser I say the better it is. She is constrained by the understanding she has of this world. All she knows is that she is a queen and she must help the poor needy people. Her’s is a patronizing attitude and I get where it comes from. She did not come from the ground level. She came as a daughter in law and suddenly found herself the queen. Now she pities the common man because he must be helped. She does not understand that it is not her place to pity anybody. All she has to do is to get the government out of the way. This is what one expected Manmohan Singh to tell her. He did not speak, she did not listen and billions will suffer.
I refuse to say anything about Rahul Gandhi.
The times which are coming are going to be tough. More so because we have seen the golden time and know what is possible.