Judgement, People

I have a real issue with judgement and judgmental people. I can’t take it with nonchalance.

With some difficulty and conscious effort, I am in a place today where I can respect the choices people make for themselves, be it similar to mine or better or worse. The reason I have is that I am not the best person to make a decision about someone else’s life and give it a rating – good or bad. Often, I am not qualified to understand the mental process of other people, to feel the intensity of emotions they must have felt and so I can’t really ‘judge’ them for the decisions they have taken.

And being in this place makes it tough for me because I expect that other people would do the same. Not true. Not true at all. Most people would make an associative judgment about you without even bothering to know all the facts or give it an honest assessment or even verify that what they remember is an actual fact or just a figment of their associative memory’s imagination. It bothers me because that is an evaluation that they carry about me and it is not accurate.

My point is simply this – If you are going to assess, get your facts right. If you cannot bother to take the pains of knowing the honest truth, then don’t be quick to assess and come to a judgement.

That is all. That is where I stand!

Sons and Lovers – D.H.Lawrence

I had been long wanting to read a D.H. Lawrence book and I thought that I would initiate with “Sons and Lovers”. This book is a semi autobiographical work of his and in it he explores basically the Freudian concept of “Oedipus Complex” whereby, some men come to love their mothers psychologically so much that any other woman in their life is either a replacement of their mother or in direct conflict with her. This is the story which sheds light on this aspect of human nature. It is about a Morel family where the mother is in perpetual discord with the father. Sons see this and come to hate their father and grow extremely attached to their mother. They, in effect, are like lovers of her, first the eldest son and then the younger one. But, when they come face to face with real world, they have trouble in their personal lives due to this great attachment from which they cannot separate themselves. No woman is unable to fulfill them completely. And in all this, the first son dies and second one leads a life of conflict forever, unable to give himself and his soul to anyone else. Even when his mother dies, Paul Morel cannot really rid himself of the bond.

The book is psychologically probing and touches upon a topic which people would not even speak of. many have been outraged by it which is surprising because Oedipus Complex does exist and is a major psychoanalytical topic. The book exposes the depth of knowledge which Lawrence has about psychology and is rather perceptive of thought processes. As for the depiction of scenes and setting up a picture, he has not been too good in this book at least.

It is an intriguing book to say the least.