Yet again! How many times I must have thought that this is a wonderful theme and I will let it stay long and in fact, i have also written about it once. But passes one month and I am desperate to change it again. WordPress limits the changing frequency to some extent by not allowing the self modification of the themes otherwise God knows i would have changed it every week. There is something in constancy which irritates me. I need to have a change in the surroundings, in the moods, in the colours..everything. I keep on moving the furniture in my room around sometimes in comfortable and sometimes in not so comfortable positions. The looks of my walls are always changing. As one my friends said ” tujhe kuch kuch karte rehne ka keeda hai ” 😀 . Yeah, he was so right. Mujhe keeda hai. I like creativity spread around me. I like rearrangements and I hate constancy.

My love for a change has often led me to making decisions which were made against all reason just beacuse I wanted a change. Sometimes I am surprised at myself that how can one be so irrational? Playing all the time with my career and life?

But thats me and I enjoy being myself :). Its been barely a month since the sem started and exams have made their way into our lives. Starts 4th september ends 6th september. Have to get back to the mugging ways. And I am pretty sure that the blogging frequency would increase withinh this one week. After all, I ought to be busy studying and that is what I will like to see changed . Right ??

See ya soon,

wish me luck



Worries gone!

The problem with me is that I want 100% happiness. For me it is either 100% or it is 0%.
I just cannot collect the tit bits here and there. I have to be completely free of tension to relax menatlly. I am not relaxed until there is even one mior thing which is bothering me. And this is a bad trait. For what I have come to know after all these years is that it is near impossible to be without a single worry. The only thing is that how much importance you give to it .

And I have started on the way of ignoring the distractors of mental peace. I am now not going to worry without a special reason.

just like :

“collar ko thoda sa upar utha ke…
cigarette ke dhuen ka chhalla uda ke ….
sochna hai kya ? jo hoga so hoga…

chal pade hain fikra yaaar dhuen mein uda ke ….”

P.S.: except that the cigarette is imainary ;).


Watched the movie “Lord of War”. Very good. Straight away targetting the US government and the ways it adopts to help flourish terrorism. Nicolas Cage was good.Most of the supporting cast was not upto the mark. The theme and the presentation was good but something lacked. It falls a little short in connecting to the audience. Anyway, with it I started the movie watching session again but I am now discontinuing. Don’t feel like watching movies anymore.

Have been planning since days to finish “Eragon” and “The Argumentative Indian”(TAI) but just can not get myself to read. I love the first line of the ” TAI ” which is : Prolixity is not alien to us in India. Am now fed up with the extreme GRE mugging environment all around. Need a refreshing break. All resolves for the weekend have been already broken as expected. Have been missing breakfast since more than two weeks now :(.  Certain dilemmas have cropped up and in general a feeling of discomfort has set in. Have a quiz o n Tuesday. Perhaps, that is the reason for all the bad feelings ;).

That’s all the absolute trash that my life is filled with recently!!



For all the concern you have, all you get to knwo is that you are apathetic.

For all the secrets you never let out, you are kept away from them.

For everything you do, what you get to hear is that you are shrewd.

For all the tears that you drink, you are sidelined and given more.

World is unfair or am i bad?

So bad? So bad?

Friendless in a way

Lifeless in the other

Seeking a friendly life that is true and pure

Like the love of a mother.

P.S : This is an arbitrary trash of my mind which i purged on my blog. This was written imagining myself in a forsaken condition

Philosophy of God !

Is man merely a mistake of God’s ? Or God merely a mistale of man’s?——Nietzsche

Read this thought a few days ago and it set me thinking about the philosophy of GOD. After all what is the actual concept behind it ? Off course there has been humongous amount of work done on this topic but here I would like to share what I feel about it.

I have many times felt the existence of a supreme power. Not in the sense that I have seen Lord Ganesha drinking milk or a reincarnation of Shri Hanuman or other such things. But in ways like when I have stood under a waterfall and heard the immense strength gushing in it. Like when I have seen the fire burning and hissing with the hidden readiness to embrace everything. Like when I have been caught up in a storm and felt the smallness of our masterfully created sky touching concrete towers. I have felt it when even the pea-sized-brain animals have the instinct for self protection. I have felt it when the greenery just after a rain has the capacity to heal even a damaged eyesight. I have felt it when just a small wave of water under my feet takes me to the top of the world. I have felt it when I see that the whole of research that we do everyday is just a finding of one or the other fact already existing in nature.

I fully acknowledge a supremity that exists above us all. But I have stopped believeing that the heroes of the epics are the real Gods! I feel that they were created to make us realize that what lays hidden, to make us realize our strengths and limitations, to teach us virtues and to spread harmony and faith. I have stopped believing that some God sitting above in the heaven ( which I fail to see that where it must be in the universe ) took births again and again to save us. I compliment the philosophers of that era who presented us with such beautiful allegories. They had a vision which men today dont see. They were successful in passing on the virtues but the characters that they made to do so became a hindrance in the open minded acceptance of their stories and were taken as a rule written by some invisible hand.

I am a Brahnim by birth ( Although i dont give a damn to such ideas which make a person someone just by birth ) . A brahmin was supposed to be the link between the God and men whatever that God meant. I take it as self realization and of the surroundings. But some of my ancestors took it as the heroes of the epics and thus was the change started. Today when I myself cannot connect to those idols how can i make other people connect to it. Times are changing and perhaps we are realizing the God that actually is in us. The realization of the existence is being felt.

In actuality, I am a self proclaimed atheist. In the eyes of the world, however, i am just a normal not-so-religious-but-religious person. As for the Nietzsche’s quote , I think that Man is a mistake of God ( I being a woman ;)) and that the epic-heroes-turned-into-god is a mistake of man and a gross one at that !


Me part 1

I love:–

1. Arbit small conversations with witty people.

2. Masti full hindi songs

3. Chhole bhature but only the home made ones

4. To tease my brother and get teased by him

5. To do as much leg pulling as I can

6. To dance alone and in discos

7. To not to cry while watching a movie.

8. Adrak wali chai

9. To dance in the rain with friends.

10. Cooking

11. To day dream

12. To say that “I hate chocolates” and eat a whole one after that

13. To think that I am reducing ( while actually i am putting on)

14. To wear the oldest clothes in the closet.

15. To buy ear ornaments

16. To Swim and play in a team

17. To open my mozilla thunderbird inbox every 10 5 or less minutes 🙂