Differences in what you think you are being seen as and how actually you are being seen, can be astounding!!
For me, to imagine that anyone would perceive me as having an attitude is unimaginable! I don’t have an attitude at all and yet this is what one of the interviewers thought – that I might have an attitude!!
Its really strange. I am not disturbed by it but I am concerned now that what I think I am projecting may not be what people are receiving. As a result, I might need to work on it sincerely. Sometimes, feedback – that too negative or constructive feedback is as important as introspection.
This is a time, I think, to stop thinking inwards and expand outwards and make changes to adapt better in the world in which you are going to be.
But I still cannot imagine having an attitude problem. Seriously! What would trigger that thinking is beyond me. (Maybe, I cut some one while they were talking. I should watch out for this. In an eagerness to discuss and share my ideas, I may inadvertently be coming out as brash and may be cutting people. There should be balance between being aggressive and showing that you are curious and participating)
Well well well ! There is so much work in life.
I picked up and read a Hindi book after a long long time. Narendra Kohli had been on my ‘To Read’ list for a long time now. I had heard a lot about his contemporary style in Hindi writing. So, I wanted to try that and when I found myself in front of Hindi section in landmark, I could not help but buy at least one book of his. By the way, it is really rare to find a good collection of Hindi books in Bangalore and that too in the big book stores. So, the fact that Landmark did have a decent collection gladdened my heart.
Vasudev is a book about the struggles of Devki and Vasudev after there is a ‘bhavishyavani’ that their 8th son will kill the ruling king ‘Kans’ who also happens to be Devki’s brother. How they face the death of their 6 children in front of their eyes as soon as they are born. How their relationship evolves over the years which started with a sword hanging over their heads. How they come to believe in the power which is something beyond, something which is making them do things. How they manage to save their 7th and 8th sons and how they finally come and kill Kans. How there is a struggle and jealousy between the mothers to be able to prove who loves these two sons the most. And, who is a real mother?? One who conceives you or one who receives and nurtures you?
It is all these questions and many more which Narendra Kohli has asked and answered in this novel about the birth and coming of age of Krishna. He has included all the stories of the mythology and has tried to tie them in a logical sequence. Many of the stories have traditionally included many supernatural elements, which Narendra Kohli has tried to rationalize and present as human acts but cruel to the level of being inhuman and unnatural. This makes the book more palatable for a logical/rational audience while keeping alive the relish of a god like figure who is all powerful and does some unbelievable tricks once in a while.
It’s well written but a bit long and I felt that it got too preachy towards the end. It drifted towards the same archaic ‘sacrificial’ supremacy which has been advocated since a really long time in Hindi literature. I cannot say about others but it does not appeal to me. So, while the beginning and middle were good, end seemed forced and contrived.
Still, it is one of the finer books to read in Hindi.
I recently discovered Maya Angelou – American author and poet. The woman writes what she thinks and how she sees the world is very inspiring :). One of her poems sits so well with me that I have been reading it daily for sometime now and even twice and thrice on some days. It is this :
||You may write me down in history
With your bitter, twisted lies,
You may trod me in the very dirt
But still, like dust, I’ll rise.
Does my sassiness upset you?
Why are you beset with gloom?
‘Cause I walk like I’ve got oil wells
Pumping in my living room.
Just like moons and like suns,
With the certainty of tides,
Just like hopes springing high,
Still I’ll rise.
Did you want to see me broken?
Bowed head and lowered eyes?
Shoulders falling down like teardrops.
Weakened by my soulful cries.
Does my haughtiness offend you?
Don’t you take it awful hard
‘Cause I laugh like I’ve got gold mines
Diggin’ in my own back yard.
You may shoot me with your words,
You may cut me with your eyes,
You may kill me with your hatefulness,
But still, like air, I’ll rise.
Does my sexiness upset you?
Does it come as a surprise
That I dance like I’ve got diamonds
At the meeting of my thighs?
Out of the huts of history’s shame
Up from a past that’s rooted in pain
I’m a black ocean, leaping and wide,
Welling and swelling I bear in the tide.
Leaving behind nights of terror and fear
Into a daybreak that’s wondrously clear
Bringing the gifts that my ancestors gave,
I am the dream and the hope of the slave.