O God!

Sometimes when you fear so much about getting nothing and then you get it almost effortlessly, you feel so strange, so undeserving, so nervous…and so like I do not know what….

Its certainly not relief…I want to go somewhere and hide.  OGod!!!!!


Hear the cry : Goonj

Read about Goonj which is an organization working towards clothing the deprived people spread all across India starting with the villages of Bihar. The way they describe the scene of a village of moosahari’s( called so because of eating rats in absence of availability of any food) makes one highly uncomfortable. Check out the link : http://www.goonj.org/

It spent chills down my spine to read the heart wrenching stories of deprivation and poverty. Having bought a few new clothes only yesterday, I felt guilty beyond limits and it made me almost hate myself. And I think that anyone would do the same. How ironic is it that when the Ambani brothers are being named as the fourth richest in the world, in the same part of the world hundreds of villages are unclothed and unfed. But then, India is a country of greatest ironies. As much as I hate to say it, it is the fact.

I always was the revolutionary , social worker kind in my school days but it was all lost when I came in college and gained some “worldly, practical wisdom”. But I think that I am again beginning to shred that cover of selfcentered-ness. But I do not approve of charity. To me it is equivalent to crippling someone. What I approve of is the empowerment of the individuals, of the society and of the world. And this, perhaps, gives an answer to many questions that have been bothering me time and again. And speaking of charity, I think the whole idea in itself is flawed but more on it later.

Till then,

Be grateful( to whom is an altogether different question) that we have enough and subsistence is not an issue.

Woolmer dies!

Bob Woolmer, The Pakistan cricket coach was found unconscious with vomit and blood around him in his hotel room in Jamaica and later died in a hospital. Was the ouster of Pakistan from the World Cup in the first round itself too much for him to take or too much for someone else?

This is a highly disturbing and perhaps one of its kind news.

Cric and work

What is life without work? Nothing! And I do not understand that how do I manage to live without working?? Well, I could be a case study for the degrees of stubbornness. I would love to be one.

Well, anyway, India is 51/3 in 17 overs against Bangladesh. Thats a pathetic start! And its our first match of the World Cup and that too against Bangladesh. What really fails us almost always is our top batting order which is supposed to be one of the best in the world. Perhaps it used to be but not anymore. Fingers are crossed. I hope India opens with a win.

Blogging helps many a times.


work and thought!

People say that their work is a part of them. I feel it is the opposite. Every person is a part of his work. The finesse with which one does his/her work is reflective of the thinking that goes on in one’s mind. I think when I am in a position to, I will judge people from their thinking process and not much based on their past. If I see a seriousness and way to it, a passion and a dream attached, and a crystal clear thought then for me that is the person I can trust to handle my responsibility with.

Underlying influence for the post : Sanjay Leela Bhansali on Koffee with Karan and the clarity of his thoughts, his vision and his thoughtfulness.

Of Sanskrit!

I fail to understand what is this special contempt for sanskrit with most of the students? Last day I was talking with a friend about some things that were taught to us in school during our sanskrit lessons. She told me how disgusted she felt to have studied all that and that she made a mistake by choosing it over German or Russian ( obviously she chose it because sanskrit is considered to be a very scoring subject in schools ) I don’t know what good reading german/russian would have done which sanskrit could not considering that she is not going to even visit Germany or Russia in the near and far future of hers. Its all right to say that if you have a particular interest but she is a person who doesn’t work for interests but for things that are so-called valued by the society. She said that the two years that she spent wasting over sanskrit she could have spent learning a language. Pray tell me, what is sanskrit then? Is it not a language? I thought it was best not to let the things heat up since she is not a person to take a debate in healthy spirits. She has a tendency to show that her views right or wrong are superior to others. Lest the friendship be converted into a burden for a few days I saved the sourness to be vomited here. Is it because some people feel that learning a foreign language is a thing of pride and of a local language is a thing of shame. Why such undermining of self? When , oh when will we give up looking towards west with the dripping tongues with visiting America being the ultimate goal of life?? When will we stop longing for that false glitter and polish ourselves??

It pains me really bad to see people worshiping those  dudes and dudettes who have gained themselves a visa to leave the place. What the hell man! Thats not the end of life.

But off course everyone is entitled to their opinions and I will be an outcast of mine differs from others. Anyhow, I maintain that lapping up anything with immense pleasure that west throes onto us is a disgusting thing to me. Let’s use our discretion! and not be blindfolded.

Belated Birthday!

So has passed yet another birthday! Not much fanfare, it was cool and good for me. I felt sad though. However, I guess I gained a lot of wisdom in that single day that comes from age. I suddenly started feeling like an adult and gained a certain maturity. I know it happens as you grow up but all in a single day? That was a surprise for me. Since then all I have been doing is introspection and retrospection and self analysis and making resolutions. All this apart, one thing i have surely come to realize is that this is the time for real action. One has to change gears when the slope and the plane changes. It may have dawned late but it has dawned on me.

Some things have attracted my attention and somethings have proved themselves futile for me. For instance, I was a huge huge movie buff earlier and now everyone has seen movies which I have not. Some things repelled me but now they are the most attractive. I thought and cared a lot about some people earlier , now i don’t even give a damn about them. Things that used to bother me greatly have now ceased to take my attention even. I think I have become a lot relaxed, casual and self-involved. Expectations from others and self have lowered. I was a plan fanatic ie I was obsessed with making plans but now I live according to the the moment.

One year is enough time to transform a person completely and I tend to do so to myself over the next one year and all for the best. This is the time as I see it. It seems like a signal from that superpower we call God. I am aware that I am the maker of my own destiny. Cards have been handled to me and now I have to deal it in the way I think is best.

Something has changed greatly inside my heart. I am a different person now. I feel things differently. I meet the same old people but with a distance. Everything seems mechanical. My responses seem to be automatically generated without any input from my side. All I can relate to now is my family. I don’t even have the same equation with myself which I had. My mind is numb. I can’t feel a thing. I can’t work the cells there. Its amazing and strange at the same time. This is a first time experience I am having.

Let’s see!!