I always keep feeling that I have no control. I flow with the flow of life. And then, I end up feeling like I have no control over my time. When I am not able to do my work, I feel guilty about that and when I am not able to spend some time taking care of my family, I feel guilty about that. It’s a mess. I am already facing the guilt syndrome without having any major responsibilities. I tend to assume that I have more responsibility than I actually do. I want to do everything for everyone. It’s insane. The guilt of not being able to do something spurs me further into not doing anything. All in all. The more responsible I feel, the more dissatisfied I am. And I just presume that I have to assume all responsibility.
It’s a vicious circle. I need to feel less guilty and find more control on my time if I want to do anything worthwhile.