GooGoo Dolls say…..” you can’t fight the tears that ain’t coming..and the moment of truth in your lies…where everything is meant to be broken..you bleed just to know you are alive”…
That really captures the feeling of the low which you feel when you are affected so much as to even react or cry. The shock is too much to bear or comprehend. Lyrics of some songs sometimes touch your life in just the right way!
There have been moments when I have bled just to know that I am alive and ended up finding out that I am uncomfortably numb. There is an endless capacity in me to endure pain and that is very very dangerous. Expectations make me mad! I want to be least expected from. I am afraid of taking blames. I have become afraid of responsbility. I have become afraid of failures. I cant take it anymore. I fear the fact that I may be just any other person. I fear the fact that I am turning unambitious. I fear the fact that I may be looked down upon rather than looked up to. I fear the fact that I am not being able to steer the things in my way. I hate the fact that I have used the words fear and afraid so many times in my post.I absolutely hate it that I am turning into this weak and whining person.
I want to respect myself. I want to be myself that I used to be. I want to adore and admire the person that I am..
What the hell!