slight knock

…of an opportunity and I might not be able to open the door. Nothing, I repeat, nothing is more maddening and saddening at the same time. It is all just so bad these days!

Want and Need!

Seemingly similar and yet so different.

The difficulty is not in learning, it is neither in failing to learn. It is difficult when you learn that you have failed to learn or when you learn that you have learned to fail, which is mostly one and the same thing.

The circle is vicious but by no means unescapable. All it needs is a lot of passion and determination and one helluva hard work drive.

Hail Passion!

Theory and Empiricism

I created a huge fuss when I did not use to get the concept or the theory behind a problem and I felt that I was really stupid for not getting things. I still do that a lot to myself. ie declare myself stupid most of the times.

But today, while doing some random stuff, I realized that hey! it is not so bad after all. Most of the time theory comes after empiricism. From the mistakes made there and the right things done. It does come after experiments. And it is after all, okay, to not get the theory at the beginning and form it after the experiments are done. It would certainly be best if one knew all theory before doing something. But the conclusion is that it is fine to not know all theory certainly beforehand. It is OK to experiment and based on the results draw the conclusions

I am more at peace with theorizing than actually experimenting. That is one more conclusion!

Why am I so sad?

I do not know. Honestly. I always used to say and follow that “there is nothing to be sad about…no difficulty too big”. But I have forgotten that and gotten into the mode where “there is nothing to be happy about and even simple things are one hell of a difficulty.” It is ridiculous. If anything, I am better off today than I was a year or two ago. But my woes are that I could have been in a much better situation which is really pointless. Bemoaning something is not going to solve anything. I have mourned the loss enough. It is time to gear up and move on. No second thoughts, no second valuations. Nothing .

??

I do not watch movies anymore. I hardly follow news. I have almost given up blogging. Reading is on a standstill. I do not enhance my academic knowledge per se. I do not sleep more than 7 hours, even on weekends. I do not play. I do not do any creative activity. I do not travel. What do I do??

I work. As a software engineer. From 10 to 8. Everyday.

I do not like this !

Whats up??

Lots of things…It is a new way of life in the job. I like it. I hate it too sometimes. All in all, it is a ruckus. Lots of things happening …weird things and angry moments and some fun too….

Slumber broken !

Too much learning has happened between the last post and this one. The gist of it all can be squeezed into two points.

1. Happiness is equal to gainful employment. By gainful I mean mentally and monetarily.

2.Happiness can only come if you are doing your job with perfection.

These are the most important things that I have learned. One other is : Enough is Nothing! because as Jonathan Livingston Seagull says…” Each of us is in truth an idea of the Great Gull, an unlimited idea of freedom, and precision flying is a step towards expressing our real nature. Everything that limits us we have to put aside. That’s why all this high speed practice, and lowspeed, and acrobatics…….”

How true and how wonderful!

In the meanwhile, I have also read some books: “Jonathan Livingston Seagull”, “The Last Lecture” and “The Little Prince”  and am currently on “Audacity of Hope” by Obama .

These are fine days !

Sartre, Camus Quotes

These are some gem of quotes from the great philosopher Jean Paul Sratre. Have a look :

• Fear? If I have gained anything by damning myself, it is that I no longer have anything to fear.
• Man is not the sum of what he has already, but rather the sum of what he does not yet have, of what he could have.
• My thought is me: that is why I cannot stop thinking. I exist because I think I cannot keep from thinking. 
• One is still what one is going to cease to be and already what one is going to become. One lives one’s death, one dies one’s life.
• I am no longer sure of anything. If I satiate my desires, I sin but I deliver myself from them; if I refuse to satisfy them, they infect the whole soul. 
• If a victory is told in detail, one can no longer distinguish it from a defeat. 
• If you are lonely when you’re alone, you are in bad company. 
• It disturbs me no more to find men base, unjust, or selfish than to see apes mischievous, wolves savage, or the vulture ravenous. 
• Like all dreamers, I mistook disenchantment for truth. 
• Man is condemned to be free; because once thrown into the world, he is responsible for everything he does. 
• Man is fully responsible for his nature and his choices.
• As far as men go, it is not what they are that interests me, but what they can become
• Being is. Being is in-itself. Being is what it is.
• God is absence. God is the solitude of man.
• Generosity is nothing else than a craze to possess. All which I abandon, all which I give, I enjoy in a higher manner through the fact that I give it away. To give is to enjoy possessively the object which one gives. 

Albert Camus’s quotes :

 

• But what is happiness except the simple harmony between a man and the life he leads? 
• At 30 a man should know himself like the palm of his hand, know the exact number of his defects and qualities, know how far he can go, foretell his failures – be what he is. And, above all, accept these things. 

I saw TAJ MAHAL!

Finally! Visited Agra and saw the symbol of love ! It was beautiful. The artwork was awe inspiring. But , not so surprisingly, it failed to evoke in me any kind of emotions connected with love and such things. All I felt was the architectural marvel and the beauty of the white marble and the opulence and the grandeur. Love did not feature. That is kind of sad I think !